If Your Dreams Don't Scare You They Aren't Big Enough

This weekend the J&A Training Team finished our last cycle and we all completed our biggest runs of the season.  For some it was their biggest ever.  For others, it was the final long run of some grueling weeks.  For me, it was the final push of hard work that started last summer in August.

Most of #teamawesome decided to push themselves to their limits Saturday.  Most of the returning crew did their longest runs ever of 14 Miles.  For the newbies, they still killed their first 12 Milers.  And for the 8kers, they did awesome running the course.  Thinking about this just made me proud.  After doing two marathon training cycles back to back sometimes makes me forget how many miles 14 miles really is.  But thinking about it makes me so proud of them.  To think they decided to push their bodies a mile further than the toughest thing they have ever done is incredible.  This is going to be very helpful come race day when they can tell themselves, "It's only a half".  it was a tough day for most of them because one of their teammates, Elizabeth, got injured the week before and they dedicated the run to her.  She was an integral part of #teamawesome and her positivity shines through everyday.  The best part of Saturday was knowing as I held the rear of the group, the front pack waiting for two of their partners to finish.  As a pacer and leader of the team, I know I have done my job right by seeing this.

I always tell people being a pacer is an awesome job.  I get to watch and feel the emotions of what it's like each and every week a new runner hitting a new goal.  It rejuvenates me.  It motivates me on my own runs to realize how special running really is.  What my team doesn't know is how thankful I am for them.  I really can't wait to finish my race so that I can find out how they all did.

One of the quotes that our chalk master, Josh Wade, put down this weekend goes as follows: "If Your Dreams Don't Scare You They Aren't Big Enough".  Well, my dreams do scare me.  Running a marathon is like walking a thin line of epic proportions.  It's a big ugly scary monster that everyone has to respect.  Once you run one you understand this.  Until that happens there isn't any advice that can explain that feeling when you are running your last few miles of a marathon.  It is pure grit, strength and mental toughness.

Even though I have had an epic training cycle and really can't complain about my runs. I am still scared.  I am scared of pushing myself.  I am scared I might fail.  I am scared I might let my team, friends, and family down.  I am scared I am not good enough.  But as I read that quote on Saturday, I am glad I am scared.  Because as #thefitpetite said to me last week, "nervous means you care".  And I do care.  Everything I do in my life I have to be passionate about to do it.

No matter what happens Shamrock Weekend, my goal is 3:30.

But my bigger goal is to hear about how my #teamawesome succeeded.  Some it will be their first half marathons, first Shamrock weekend, first 8k, or even a challenge.

16 for 2016

Since my buddy Ryan came up with this idea of 16 Goals in 2016 and I thought it was a great idea, I decided to follow the trend.  Even though it is February already, I thought it was still early enough in 2016 to set out my goals.  But I needed sometime to think about it.

So here is my 16 for 2016:

1. PR Marathon: As stated my last post for Shamrock.  I am going big with a 3:30ish goal.  My training is going well and hopefully everything will align perfectly on race day.
2. Run with my wife for her first Shamrock 8K.  This is easy and probably my favorite.  
3. Help all of #teamawesome kick ass during Shamrock Weekend.  If I see smiles, tears of joy, and laughter from my team I will be pretty stoked.
4. Be a better Father.  This one is tough.  Being a Dad is the toughest but most gratifying job you can ever have.
5. Be a better Husband.  I can't be a better Dad without my wife so I better be work on this too.
6. Get rid of debt.  Most of my friends know Lori and I are on a tough budget for long term success.  Our goal is no debt except mortgage, student loans and car payments in a few years.  
7. Succeed on Weight Watchers.  Weight Watchers has helped me so far and it will in the future.  But working hard at it is important.
8. Spend more time in the woods.  I need to spend more time hunting, fishing, and just doing anything outdoors.  The world around us is such a beautiful place.
9. Go Camping.  some of my fondest memories are camping with my family.  
10. Take Lori and Avery up to camp for the first time.  It's my favorite place in the world.  
11. Put in new water softener in house.  Ugh.  The only problem in Pungo is water.  And we need a new Water softener system.
12. Take time for Just Lori and I.
13. Visit my grandparents.
14. See my brother.
15. See more movies in the Theatre.  
16. Enjoy life.  Don't let time slip by and regret.  Life is too beautiful to take it for granted and always be serious.

From 330 to 3:30

After my first marathon this fall I was kind of in shock. What do you do after you kill your first marathon?  Do you push harder or be content?  Some people would die for a 3:48.  Some people just dream of breaking 5 hours or 4 hours.  For a few weeks I didn't know what to do or say.  I remember when I ran my first half over a year ago and I was so happy for a 2:21.  I remember saying to myself, "if I run a marathon my goal is 5 hours".

Then I remember in April of last year I asked to run with these crazy marathoners who I just met.  We met up that Saturday and we ran 12 miles at 8:47 pace.  Amy and Kim laughed when we finished and saw our time.  I was shocked.  From that point forward I ran with this crew every weekend.  Then came my training for my first full.

Each week I kept getting stronger and stronger.  I remember my first 20 miler on vacation in South Carolina running an average pace of 8:45.  Then came my second 20 miler before my race I killed my run and had an average pace of 8:37.  But running with my friends kept making me stronger and stronger.  Sometimes when you run in a group the miles are shorter the temps or cooler or hotter and the time is shorter.  Not only was I lucky enough to find the J&A training team but I was also lucky to find a group of friends to grind with when the runs are tough.

Last Sunday, I had to do a long run by myself while all my teammates got their runs in on Saturday.  I was lucky enough to be able to run with one of my friends and teammates, Ashley.  Not only did I have a killer partner, she killed the run.  Even though it was a bit slower than my training pace, running with someone for 18 miles in cold and wind is way better than running by yourself.  You can't buy company on a run.  You can't buy good teammates or friends.

This morning I had my first 20 miler scheduled.  Not only did I kill it but I felt strong.  I felt like I could do a marathon right then.  My last 11 miles were averaged under 8 minutes.  In the back of my head I keep thinking what should be my next goal.  Should I go big or go home?  So today I decided I would announce my goal.  Sometimes you need to write it down.

So my goal is 3:30ish.

I said it.  There it is.  That is my ultimate goal.  And the reason this number is so important is because when I started my weightloss journey I weighed 330 pounds.

As with any race I will be content just finishing and feeling good.  And if I just squeak past my first marathon time I will be happy with that.  But I have a goal.  And I know I can do it.  I put in the work.  And if I have the perfect day, perfect run and everything works out then I will nail it.

So Bring it Shamrock.

Thankful for Life

This week was such a crazy week.  Between a crazy deadline at work, running, and oh, this thing called a teenager and 20 month old, it's been a fairly busy week.   Add in a memorial service at Arlington National Cemetery and Lori's work schedule, we have had fun.

But today on my run with the Ryan Conrad, I was thinking about how thankful I am for all the things I have in my life.

Tuesday at the Memorial Service it was a bitter sweet day.  Lori and I took Avery with us because we know my Grandma Joanne would love to see her again.  Avery got to also spend some more time with her Great Aunt Nancy and Uncle Dan.  Uncle Dan was very thoughtful and got Avery a plate full of whip cream.  It was also a sad day because we finally laid my Aunt Linda to rest.  But rest assured, she will be where she belongs.  With all the other great men and women who have served our country.  Watching a service at Arlington is very different than any other service I have been to.  It is a very beautiful site.  I am very thankful to have such wonderful family like my Aunts, Uncles and my grandparents.

Thursday and Saturday was filled with great memories with #trainjanda.  Thursday, Lori ran with her running partner, Becky.  These two keep each other going when they want to quit or cut it short.  Saturday was a wonderful morning.  So many people had new accomplishments.  Lori and Becky ran their farthest run together and finally got to the water stop.  Stephanie, Bianca, and many others ran their longest runs ever.  Dennis, a 65 year old navy vet ran the farthest he ever has, most of #teamawesome including Julie, Debbie, Jackie, White Keisha, Elizabeth and Ashlee all killed their run and had dominant negative splits.  Watching my team grow is what I love about pacing.  Watching them do what they think is impossible makes my job so easy.  All this is what I am thankful for.  It motivates me.  It makes me happy.  I couldn't be more proud of being part of watching this team grow.

I am also so thankful for my wife.  She puts up with me.  She loves me for me.  And she supports me.  I can go on and on about things I don't have but I would rather talk about the things I do. I never thought seven years ago I would have a home to call home, a loving wife, a family and two wonderful kids.  All the things I have in my life are amazing.  I have amazing in laws and my family is amazing too.

Today I ran the best run I had in a while mentally.  I had some really great conversations with Ryan.  Sometimes all you need is a beautiful 65 degree day in January at the beach and a good buddy to run with. It refreshed my training. So Thanks Ryan.

2015 Recap: My Bling

As we finished out our last big race of the year with #surfandsanta15 I was thinking about how amazing 2015 was and still is.

I saw a lot of people post all their bling from the year and I just wanted to show some of mine off too. All these people are my bling.  My best bling I earned this year are the friendships I made with some amazing people.  So here it goes.........

First and foremost, my wonderful wife.  I couldn't be more proud and honored at the same time.  She supports me, she loves me and she has also dabbled in her own running journey.

#trainjanda
Who couldn't ask for a more amazing group of people to run, train and party with.  I have officially been a pacer for three training teams.  I remember last year for #surfnsanta14, I showed up for the team picture and didn't know anyone.  This year, we have 160 new and old team members.  The difference from last year to this year is truly amazing.  I don't ever run alone anywhere.  Each and everyone of the team members I help pace each week is the best bling I could find.

I couldn't post anything without posting about #teamawesome.  Who is #teamawesome?  It's everybody.  It's the people always smiling, always cheering the last runner, and always being positive. It's who we are.  My mini-team is honestly the best people in the world.  They inspire me daily.

Last but not least.  #DEEZRUNNINGHOEZ

Did I tell you I was the only #hoez that didn't run the Seashore 50k.  Not only did my peeps run a total of SIX MARATHONS and countless half marathons, they all kicked ass Saturday at their first ultra.  Hats off #hoez.  But without these 4 blingtastic friends, I wouldn't be who I am as a runner.  My #hoez are so awesome that after running her first Ultra, Kim showed up in costume and volunteered at the J&A PR Bell and Chalkboard that evening at #surfnsanta15.  Who does that?  

That's why I love my bling.  My bling is way better than your bling because it involves people, friends, family, and life.  

I hope everyone else had a wonderful 2015 and I hope everyone also has a wonderful Christmas.

My Disappointment in Weight Watchers

I hate to even write about this but I have been very disappointed in Weight Watchers over the past few months.  I hit my goal weight in June and received my lifetime membership in July. But since then I have had a roller coaster of a ride dealing with Weight Watchers.

Let me start this by saying that I understand that I have my choices to make for eating habits and that they have been out of control since I started marathon training in the summer.  During the summer months, I was really able to eat anything I wanted and not worry.  But since I finished my marathon I have struggled a bit to maintain my weight.  I am really only two (2) pounds away from where I need to be but I could lose my lifetime membership if I don't get back on track.  To some that's not a big deal but to me it is.  I am also very proud of where I am.  But Weight Watchers has not helped any of this for the past several months.

I want to also say that I haven't been able to make meetings which as I analyze how I felt after last night's confrontation (talk about it soon) I know this hasn't helped with my habits.

It all started in late summer when I went to go weigh in at the Red Mill Weight Watchers store.  I showed up and weighed in.  I was well below my goal weight and was happy.  As I was catching up with one of my favorite Weight Watchers employees, she mentioned to me that the store was closing and they would find a new site later.  I was saddened by this.  Not for me, but more for the struggling people who are trying to lose weight.  Losing the Red Mill store is probably the biggest mistake they made.  They will lose out on a lot of walk ins, new customers, and what not.  After, I asked what I could do to voice my opinion on this and they didn't really give me an answer.  So I went online to the website and emailed customer service.  At this point, I got the wonderful generic email back from Weight Watchers that doesn't help anyone.  It probably is the least helpful response anyone can get.  During this, I get a message from one of the Red Mill store's leaders, Elyse.  She quickly becomes defensive and tells me everything will be alright.  Instead as I tried to tell her, I wasn't angry.  I was disappointed.  She said they would be looking for a new site for the store.  Quickly, she got defensive like I was attacking Weight Watchers but instead really, all I was doing was wanting to tell Weight Watchers Corporate that I am disappointed in their decision to close the store. I

Soon I would find out this was a hoax.  Instead, after I finally got a hold of someone at their wonderful customer service phone number.  And after multiple tries, the regional Weight Watchers lady calls me personally and basically tells me that the reason they closed the store was a business decision.  It had nothing to do with them losing their lease (as I was told).  I was pretty disappointed to hear this.  I told her about my disappointment and explained to her that Weight Watchers is not a business, it is a lifestyle.  And it affects our lives greatly.

For me personally, closing the store meant I had less of a likelihood to attend a meeting because we live so far from suburban areas.   By closing the store, it also meant that there were going to be less meetings.  For you "Non-Weight Watchers" people, the company has been making a huge transition from in person to online over the past few years.  They have jumped into the deep end into the online presence and think that the digital world is the future.  But they forget that we still need to meet and talk, learn and grow.

While this all is happening, Weight Watchers then decides to tell their customers that the Activelink (activity monitor) is being discontinued after two years.  This is after loyal customers purchased both 1.0 and 2.0 for $50 a piece and paid graciously $5 a month for two years to have it connected to your app.  Basically, I paid $220 for a activity monitor that doesn't work anymore (That is two fitbits).  In return, they offer me 20% off on activity monitors only on their website.  They also said they would allow the activity link to be active for a month longer and did not work.  I was pretty disappointed about the activelink.  I wore it everywhere.  I wore it every moment I was awake.

Next onto the issues came their wonderful app updates.  Since October they have been updating their app and website to be ready for their new system.  I think everyone who uses Weight Watchers and is a techy person can say they are probably the only company I have ever seen who updates an app that doesn't work.  Its 2015 not 2007.  You shouldn't update an app and put it out to millions of users who live and die by it and have it not work for days.  For some, still not working.  But since October, they have deleted your favorites, foods, and all kinds of stuff.  Mind you, this is all while I am struggling to maintain.

Then here is the kicker.  Last night, December 10, I go to a meeting at Courthouse Methodist in Virginia Beach to learn about the material.  I show up and I am greeted by the wonderful Lori.  We talk for a few.  I told her I wasn't weighing in because I didn't need to until December 21 and I was just coming to learn about the new program.  Instead, I was scolding by the meeting leader, Susan, and I was told they couldn't even give me the new material because I wasn't weighing in.  She was actually really rude about.  Lori then asked if I wanted to weigh in.  I told her I knew I wasn't going to make it but I still attempted.  So I stepped on and I was a few pounds over.  No big deal.  I knew it.  But I basically had to be shamed into stepping on the scale and feeling bad about myself just to try to get the new material.  Instead, this should of been the moment Weight Watchers stepped in to help me.  To support me.  But instead, Susan was sturn on her decision and made me feel like I wasn't a customer and not important.  Lori told me I could stay for the meeting but by then I felt ashamed and embarrassed.  I was also pretty disappointed that I couldn't feel supported when this was probably the first time in the two and half years I needed support.  It's the holidays, I am on maintenance and I am struggling a bit trying to maintain my weight.

I have never been so disappointed with Weight Watchers.  I am decided to just not do Weight Watchers anymore.  Basically, get rid of the lifestyle I have been working on for over the past two years.

But instead, I am not going to let someone be such a negative impact on me and I am going to move forward.  I am going to keep doing Weight Watchers because I love the program.  And I love the people I have met that are struggling like I am.  I am going to get back on track and be where I want to be.  But I will not ever let someone feel unsupported like I did last night.  Doesn't matter where I am.

Harbor Lights Weekend 2015 Recap #trainjanda #harborlightshalf15

A weekend full of friends, family and awesomeness.  That is what the weekend was about.  For those that know me I help pace the J&A training team.  Today was our epic finale to our months of training in 90 degrees, hurricanes, and torrential down pours.  We had injuries, amazing PRs, and tons of ups and downs.  This was my second round of pacing and it was as awesome as the Shamrock team in 2015.  We started at the USS Wisconsin and finished at Town Point Park in Norfolk.

We had runners race in Detroit, Hershey, Philadelphia, Washington DC, New York, Richmond, and tons of other places. Our team was made up of 5k-ers to ultra runners and fast to slow.

Today's race was probably one of the coolest moments I have been able to be part of.  I got to volunteer to cheer on my teammates and watch them all come in.  I got to watch and hangout at the training team area.  And it was the best seat in the house.  Our team did incredible.  Some really fast and some slow.  But they all finished.  #teamawesome did amazing.  Some of my crew killed it,  some ran their first halfs and some fought really hard. The moment that immortalized our team was when our last member of our team, Tiffany, came coming in.  She was one of the last runners on the course.  So think about this.  It was in the 40s and it rained the whole time.  Constantly dropping on our team as they chugged through Norfolk.  Now if you run a 1:45 half but think about what its like to be out in that weather for 4 hours.  4 hours of dripping, soaking wet, chafing, chivering cold.  Watching someone come in after 4 hours in this weather is awesome.  This is what running is.  Watching over 50 of your teammates jump the course to run your final teammate was incredible.  It was the best running high I have ever had.  Watching someone smile as like that and fall into her husband's arms was incredible.  If it doesn't get you going then I don't know what will.

Another one of my favorite moments was when one of our teammates, Alyssa, was coming in after 3 hours and as she was coming through the finish, she looked at me, flicked me off with the biggest smile and she did it.  She did amazing and the best part was she that she was with another teammate, Jessica, who probably had one of the worst starts to a race morning I have ever seen.  Jessica got to the training team area literally minutes before the start with no bib, couldn't remember where she parked, and had a close family member pass the way the night before.  Her face showed me everything I needed to know.  She needed a friend.  Thank god for the amazing staff at J&A for assisting her and finding her bib.  But watching these two was incredible.  Watching people transform themselves is what running is.

On top of all this, we also had a teammate get engaged.  Her poor fiance had this magical plan of asking her at the finish line but things didn't work out as well as he thought.  Instead, as he finished, he turned around and she was right behind him.  LOL.  But thinks worked out.  We quieted the team at the tent, he got down on his knees, and he earned his victory.  She said YES!

This weekend was my PR.  I got to watch my friends kill it today.  I got to watch my new friends make some amazing things happen.  I got to watch my wife PR at her 5k.  It was a perfect ending to a perfect season.  Nobody is going to remember the weather.  They are going to remember the stories, the engagement, the camaraderie, and all the smiles that we saw.  I loved peaking over my head and looking at my teammates at the fence cheering on all the runners as they finish.  This is who they are.  This is who I am.

So thank you #wolfpack.  You guys are all my spirit animals today.