50 down....... 50 to go.

My journey has been awesome.  Having a support system of my wife has been the best thing to ever happen to me.  The only week I gained weight was a week after I lost over 5 lbs and I weighed in a a different WW.  I think it was because of a scale difference.  But overall I have been very consistent.  I have journaled all my food.  If I ever cheated it wasn't on purpose but maybe for lack of knowledge or measurement.  I have consistently gone to the WW meetings.  I like to call them AA meetings for fat kids.  I don't kind calling that because I know I am a fat kid and my obesity is a drug.  It is an addiction.  It is something that I have to take care of.  I have to control.  I have to be aware.

The funny part of my journey is that during my 190 some days of working on my health, my wife has been growing our child inside of her.  It's not the easiest thing trying to be healthy and allowing your wife to have pregnancy cravings at the same time (Ice cream in the freezer was the hardest).This weekend both came to a point to celebrate.  Saturday was our shower.  We got to celebrate with our family and friends (well, she did.  I stayed next door and enjoyed just having to eat and move gifts at the end).  We were fortunate enough to have my grandmother who is 80 years old attend from South Carolina.  It was nice having her in town.  She didn't really get to know my wife and stepson during our wedding due to us being so busy.  I wish I could of had all my grandparents in town but the other 3 weren't healthy enough to travel.  My wife enjoyed talking to her.  My stepson, Tim, enjoyed spending time with her too.

The second most important thing to happen was I hit my 50 lb weight loss.  It felt amazing.  I was really hoping I hit it this week.  Even though its just another pound here or there it makes you feel really good when you hit a celebratory moment.  I got my WW 50 lbs coin.  I think that is what makes me the proudest.  I remember a good friend of mine who is a recovering alcoholic and he always had his anniversary coins from AA.  I asked him once what they were about and why he keeps them on him.  When I was younger we talked about his past and his addiction, struggles, and why how he changed.  To see someone you respect so much and see him have to deal everyday with his addiction reminds me how hard it is to fight your addictions and how easy it is to allow them to control our lives.  I carry my coins in my pocket everywhere. By no means am I comparing my weight loss to the struggles of drug and alcohol addiction. It reminds me what I have been fighting for the past half of a year.  My addictions might be different but they are very much the same.  They can kill you.  Maybe slower or faster or however you want to think about it.  But food addiction and being obese is a disease.  Right now, I am fighting mine.  I am winning.  I know I won't always be on the winning side but I know I am going to try everyday.  For me, for my wife, my son, and my daughter.  I want to be healthy.  I am part of the way there.

This same person is the person that me think about losing weight.  He told me two years ago he was seriously worried about my weight issues.  I never thought about it because I never really put my feet on a scale.  But when i did I just pretended it wasn't that bad.  But I had ballooned to the largest size I ever was.  It pissed me off that he called me out.  It hurt my feelings.  But it also hit the right nerve.  I even told my wife how it pissed me off.  But I guess pissing me off is what I needed.  Calling me out on my bull shit is what I needed. Calling me out on being FAT is what I needed.  Even though it took me over a year after that to start WW, It hit me personally.  Someone I respected and  admired called me out.  So this is my way of saying, Thanks Rick.  Thank you for saying you were concerned and worried.  Thank you for doing the right thing.

So I weighed in at 280.  It felt great.  Hopefully next week I hit the 270's which is a weight I probably haven't seen since 2005 or 2006.  My next goal is 55 lbs.  It's crazy to think I am getting closer and closer to my HS weight.  I know I won't ever be skinny nor do I want to be.  I just want to be healthy, be active, and be happy.  I am at the right age to make this change in my life.  I am at the right point in my life to make this change too.

To the next 50.  I am coming after you.  I will find you.  I will get rid of you.

PS- Thanks to my WW sponsor Elyse and my Saturday morning group.  It's very helpful having a meeting where you enjoy attending.

Normal Week

So this past week was a pretty normal week.  Tied to let my foot heel up (get it).  Worked on the baby's bedroom.  Hopefully I can start running next week again.  It feels great getting healthy and waiting for +Lori Lambert and I's love child.

This Saturday is our baby shower.

I did good this week.  i lost two pounds.  I am now only 1.2 away from my next smll goal of 50 pounds.  Pretty excited.  Hopefully I hit it this weekend at weigh in.  its great to have a fun group at meetings too at WW.

Here's to the next 51.2.

Shamrock 8k

So......I finished.  It was awesome.  I haven't run a race since 2002 or 2003.  That was a Marathon Relay that I did with my dad and some of our close friends who ran for my dad's best friend, Jeff Janness.  My dad and him an his first marathon together.  Jeff passed away the next year from Colon Cancer.  Running has always been a part of my childhood.  I always ran the fun run mile while my dad ran the big race when I was a kid.  I ran a few 5k's and other events.  But in the past 5 or 6 years I wasn't really able to run because I was so fat.

As I said in my last post.  I was excited to do the race.  As an athlete my whole life it was pretty frustrating to be so fat that I couldn't even compete in anything.  My health had consumed me.  it had controlled my ability to do the things I wanted.

It's funny that every week i keep dropping weight.  Small and large drops.  But that doesn't matter.  As long as I am losing I am happy.  It also great to feel healthy.

Saturday morning I was nervous.  Not too nervous like I am usually but just enough.  There were a ton of people there.  I think they said over 8,000 people running the 8k.  Starting the race kind of sucked.  Thee were a ton of walkers ahead of my corral (who shouldn't of been) and a bunch of run-walkers.  Both them of them made it really difficult to keep a pace.  I just tried to listen to my music and concentrate on myself.  Because of my foot injury I wasn't able to get up to 4 miles in my training.  But when I hit the 4 mile marker and saw my family I felt awesome.  I knew I had ran farther than I have in a very long time.  As I ran past my family, I gave my future daughter our secret handshake that I give her on my wife's belly everyday.  I know she knew it was me.  It felt awesome.  I knew I was doing this for her too.  So I can be the healthy dad she needs.

But more importantly I FELT FREE.  For the first time in a long time I felt free.  It was awesome.  I felt like I could run forever (probably not the smartest idea though).

As I finished it felt amazing.  I had accomplished something I didn't think was possible even 6 months ago.

I got to have one beer and then we headed to my kids baseball tournament.  Non stop all weekend.

Side Note: I EARNED 27 ACTIVITY POINTS ON SATURDAY. 27!!!

Prep

So 4 weeks ago I thought about running the Shamrock 8k.  i thought it was doable.  I was able o un at least 2 miles.  One thing I didn't plan was injuries and illness.   I didn't expect to have to go to Florida this past weekend.  But life happens.

I did ru the last two days with a lot less pain than I have had before.  The new shoes are much more comfortable and this KT Tape is working well.  A little sore today but I should be fine.

Running is tough on a body.  But more importantly, your body is tough on you.  having 280 lbs on your knees, feet, and whatever else makes it very difficult.

But I will succeed.  I have no race time goal.  Just to finish.  Just to remind myself that nothing can prevent me from doing something other than myself.  No car hitting me, no family problem, no being fat, no injury.

As I reminded myself yesterday.  One foot in front of the other.

Here's a picture of my old shoes and my new.  My old ones were completely worn out.

When life gives you Lemons........you eat Ice Cream (NOT)

So last Tuesday, I found out my grandparents took a turn for the worst.  Both are in their 80's and haven't been healthy for a while.  My grandfather magically went had a back surgery (still don't know why when he isn't mobile because of his knees) and my grams had a stroke and has kidney failure.

The whole week was tough.  It was an emotional roller coaster.  my grandfather is my idol.  So that was pretty tough.  In the past this would of made me probably go on a eating and drinking binge.  But it didn't.  I have too much awesomeness to make me want to screw it up and want to waste all my hard work.  I didn't drink and I didn't overeat.  I ate accordingly to my family's scheduled meals for the week.

I did take a road trip with my stepson to visit them.  It was worth it.  Both were so happy and now are out of the hospital and are in the nursing home rehabbing.  I didn't also splurge on the car ride.  Which is really tough because i was in a ca for 28 hours in 3 days.  I only bought myself a few tootsie pops and sugar free gum for the drives and only drank 5 hour energies for caffeine boost.  I brought my breakfasts with me.  Ate salads or veggies with everything.

I researched ahead of time that there was a WW weigh in on Saturday nearby.  Stopped by and weighed in.  i lost .8.  I was happy with that.  I was more proud that I didn't let my emotions control my life.  It also helps being healthier because I didn't need as much energy drinks as I use to.

It was a great moment in my life just to realize i did that.

On a side note.  Foot is still a little sore but not bad.  No pain now but can tell its not 100%.  Got my new shoes in the mail while I was gone.  Still planning on running the 8k.  nervous but excited to tackle this.

I wish they had weight classes instead of age groups.  because I would kick ass in the fat class.

Also seeing my invincible Pap reminded me tha

t I am doing the right thing by getting healthier so I can be healthier when i am older.

Unnamed......

So this past week went well.  Lost 1.8.  Getting closer and closer to my next mark of 50 lbs.  i got an email from my old coworker.  She was like my office mom at my old job.  She took care of me when i needed it.  I probably would quit my job and moved back to Michigan if it wasn't for him.  Every time I get an email her first question is how my weightless is going.  She also asked for a picture.  LOL.  I don't take pictures of myself.  I remember Elyse, my WW coordinator, telling me I should take pictures of my journey.  I haven't done that at all.  i probably should of have.  Oh well.  I have enough normal pictures of me being fat that remind me of how I need to keep pushing.

i hink the picture that most annoys me is my wedding picture.  I was so obese then that my shirt barely fit me for the wedding.  I needed bobby pins to hold the shirt closed at the bottom.  I had to get my pants widened.  Now, the pants are so big I have to get them re-sized.  They are too long because I was so fat that they needed to be extra long i guess.  Now the waist is so big the length is way too long.  It makes me so mad because my suit was so awesome.  Our design and colors were so awesome.  Then there was me all plump barely fitting in my suit.

It does feel good that I need to get it downsized.  Hopefully one day Lori and I can get anniversary pictures with me in my downsized suit.  It makes you feel so good that you can look at your pictures and feel positive.
Exercise bit:
My foot has been hurting me since last week.  it has hurt really bad since my big run of 3.3 miles.  I think it was more from the shoes then the actually trying to do too much.  but it pisses me off.  I am scheduled to run the 8k Shamrock.  I also ordered new shoes that will hopefully be in by Saturday.  Hopefully by then I feel better to go running again.  My foot has been getting better each day but it does still bother me a little bit.  But I haven't tried yet in athletic shoes.  I will hit up the gym tonight to see.  I might need to wear my ankle supports so I don't roll my ankle which makes my foot hurt.  it sucks when you get motivated and you get hurt.  But i guess when you have year old gym shoes you will learn your lesson.  Especially with my big frame.  I will finish the 8k no matter what.  But I want to be healthy so i can compete and push myself.